I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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