There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
