i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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