In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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