Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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