You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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