You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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