ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
where are you?
Hypothermia
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
