your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
