some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
