If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
