He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
