i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
