my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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