whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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