Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
