I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
