One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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