Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
