Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
