okay pat passed out under dana's car
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
