I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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