we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
