idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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