At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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