I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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