he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
