Sponge bath it is.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
