Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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