Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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