well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
