You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
