Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I could fuck to npr.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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