you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
