I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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