Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
