Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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