No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
