Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
