I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
