You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
