just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
home. puking in laundry basket.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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