In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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