Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
