You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I could fuck to npr.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
