She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
