wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
