This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
