You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
