is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
