shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
