I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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