im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
